Easter eggs and Easter lamb cake decorating 2013

Food Blessing Holy Saturday

Archabbot DouglasNowicki, O.S.B

Easter eggs

Decorating the lamb cakes 

Fun in the garden

Our little squirrel is enjoying the plate of food left out for our birds. We are trying to attract birds to our new feeder which is hanging directly above the plate of food.
See how proper our animals are!
He is using proper etiquette by not just jumping into the plate, he was taking out the seeds one at a time and eating them very properly :)

Okay so later he did jump onto the plate but did sit down on the empty part of the plate...

Who me???

Thank you for the wonderful supper. 

~The Garden Squirrel 

One Little Boy's Explanation of God

This story written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA was forwarded to us.  We thought it well done and thought you would enjoy it, too.  He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to 'explain God.' 

EXPLANATION OF GOD:

'One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth.  He doesn't make grownups, just babies.  I think because they are smaller and easier to make.  That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk.  He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.'
 
'God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime.  God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this.  Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.'
 
'God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy.  So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have.'
 
'Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista...  At least there aren't any who come to our church.'
 
'Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God.  They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him.  But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K.'
 
'His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore.  He could stay in heaven.  So he did.  And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God.  Like a secretary, only more important.'
 
'You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.'
 
'You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God!  Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach.  This is wrong.  And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway.'

'If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can.  It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.'

'But... you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you.  I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.  And... that's why I believe in God.'

The Tale of Jack O'Lantern

 

Jack, the Irish say, grew up in a simple village where he earned a reputation for cleverness as well as laziness. He applied his fine intelligence to wiggling out of any work that was asked of him, preferring to lie under a solitary oak endlessly whittling. In order to earn money to spend at the local pub, he looked for an "easy shilling" from gambling, a pastime at which he excelled. In his whole life he never made a single enemy, never made a single friend and never performed a selfless act for anyone.

 

One Halloween, as it happened, the time came for him to die. When the devil arrived to take his soul, Jack was lazily drinking at the pub and asked permission to finish his ale. The devil agreed, and Jack thought fast. "If you really have any power," he said slyly, "you could transform yourself into a shilling."

 

The devil snorted at such child’s play and instantly changed himself into a shilling. Jack grabbed the coin. He held it tight in his hand, which bore a cross-shaped scar. The power of the cross kept the devil imprisoned there, for everyone knows the devil is powerless when faced with the cross. Jack would not let the devil free until he granted him another year of life. Jack figured that would be plenty of time to repent. The devil left Jack at the pub.

 

The year rolled around to the next Halloween, but Jack never got around to repenting. Again the devil appeared to claim his soul, and again Jack bargained, this time challenging him to a game of dice, an offer Satan could never resist, but a game that Jack excelled at. The devil threw snake eyes—two ones—and was about to haul him off, but Jack used a pair of dice he himself had whittled. When they landed as two threes, forming the T-shape of a cross, once again the devil was powerless. Jack bargained for more time to repent.

 

He kept thinking he’d get around to repentance later, at the last possible minute. But the agreed-upon day arrived and death took him by surprise. The devil hadn’t showed up and Jack soon found out why not. Before he knew it Jack was in front of the pearly gates. St. Peter shook his head sadly and could not admit him, because in his whole life Jack had never performed a single selfless act. Then Jack presented himself before the gates of hell, but the devil was still seething. Satan refused to have anything to do with him.

 

"Where can I go?" cried Jack. "How can I see in the darkness?"

 

The devil tossed a burning coal into a hollow pumpkin and ordered him to wander forever with only the pumpkin to light his path. From that day to this he has been called "Jack o’ the Lantern." Sometimes he appears on Halloween!

from Catholic Update

No Excuse Sunday

This poem has made the rounds of the Internet, and even into books.  We all know someone who has an excuse, or rather a reason, for not going to Church on Sunday.  While appreciating the humor behind this poem, let's pray for those who aren't in Church this week...

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday,
we are going to have a special "No Excuse Sunday".

Cots will be placed in the foyer for those who say,
"Sunday is my only day to sleep in."

There will be a special section with lounge chairs
who feel that our pews are too hard.

Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes
from watching T.V. late Saturday night.

We will have steel helmets for those who say
" The roof would cave in if I ever came to church."

Blankets will be furnished
for those who think the church is too cold
and fans for those who say it is too hot.

Score cards will be available
for those who wish to list the hypocrites present.

Relatives and friends will be in attendance
for those who can't go to church and cook dinner, too.

We will distribute "Stamp Out Stewardship" buttons
for those who feel that church is always asking for money.

One section will be devoted to trees and grass
 for those who like to seek God in nature.

Doctors and nurses will be in attendance
for those who plan to be sick on Sunday.

The sanctuary will be decorated
with both Christmas poinsettias and Easter lilies
for those who never have seen the church without them.

We will provide hearing aids
for those who can't hear the preacher
and cotton for those who say he is to loud.

by Unknown

The Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art.  They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael.  They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam Conflict broke out, the son went to war.  He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier.  The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. 

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door.  A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, “Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.  He often talked about you, and your love for art.”  The young man held out this package.  “I know this isn’t much.  I’m not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package.  It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man.  He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears.  He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture.  “Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me.  It’s a gift. 

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel.  “We will start the bidding with this picture of the son.  Who will bid for this picture?”  There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, “We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.”

But the auctioneer persisted. “Will somebody bid for this painting?  Who will start the bidding? $100?  $200?”

Another angry voice, “we didn’t come to see this painting.  We came to see the Van Gogh’s, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!”

But still the auctioneer continued. “The son!  The son!  Who’ll take the son?”

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room.  It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. “I’ll give $10 for the painting.”  Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

“We have $10, who will bid $20?”  “Give it to him for $10.  Let’s see the Masters.”  The crowd was becoming angry. They didn’t want the picture of the son.  They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. “Going once, twice, sold for $10!”  A man sitting on the second row shouted, “Now let’s get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. “I’m sorry, the auction is over.” “What about the paintings?”  “I am sorry.  When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will.  I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time.  Only the painting of the son would be auctioned.  Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.  The man who took the son gets everything!”

God gave his son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross.  Much like the auctioneer, his message today is:  “The Son, the Son, who’ll take the Son?”  Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.  For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten Son, whosoever believeth, shall have eternal life.  That’s love.

Creation of Man by Science?

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don't need you anymore.  Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning!"

"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.

"Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it,  thus creating man."

"Well, that's interesting.  Show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts GOD.  "Get your own dirt."

Painting the Church

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.
    
 As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.  Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he  set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with  turpentine...

Well,  Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless  paint.

Smokey was no fool.  He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, Oh, God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke…  "Repaint!  Repaint!  And thin no more!"

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin...

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.

God lifts you up, takes you in,

     and washes all the dirt off of you.

He opens you up, touches you deep inside

     and scoops out all the yucky stuff

     -- including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.

Then He carves you a new smiling face

and puts His light inside you

to shine for all the world to see.

My Attorney

After living what I felt was a "decent" life, my time on earth came to the end.
The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house.

The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table.

As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor."  He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me.  He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat My Attorney, a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed so familiar to me, I felt I knew Him. 

The corner door flew open and there appeared the Judge in full flowing robes.  He commanded an awesome presence as He moved across the room.  I couldn't take my eyes off of Him.  As He took His seat behind the bench, He said, "Let us begin."

The prosecutor rose and said, "My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell."  He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and In the past when I cheated others.  Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank.  I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own Attorney, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at My Attorney who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm I'd done?

Satan finished with a fury and said, "This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise."

When it was His turn, My Attorney first asked if He might approach the bench.

The Judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned Him to come forward.

As He got up and started walking, I was able to see Him in His full splendor and majesty.  I realized why He seemed so familiar; this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior.

He stopped at the bench and softly said to the Judge, "Hi, Dad," and then He turned to address the court.

"Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations.  And, yes, the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished."

Jesus took a deep breath and turned to His Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted Me as his Savior, so he is Mine."

My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the book of life and no one can snatch him from Me.
Satan still does not understand yet.  This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy."

As Jesus sat down, He quietly paused, looked at His Father and said, "There is nothing else that needs to be done.  I've done it all."

The Judge lifted His mighty hand and slammed the gavel down.  The following words bellowed from His lips…"This man is free."  The penalty for him has already been paid in full.  Case dismissed."

As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, "I won't give up, I will win the next one."  I asked Jesus as He gave me my instructions where to go next, "Have you ever lost a case?"

Christ lovingly smiled and said, "Everyone that has come to Me and asked Me to represent them
has received the same verdict as you, “Paid In Full.”

Catholic Codes

This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to
non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words, the better off they are.

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Bulletin: Your receipt for attending Mass.

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

Holy Water: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

Hymn: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

Recessional Hymn: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

Incense: Holy Smoke!

Johan: The original "Jaws" story.

Justice: When kids have kids of their own.

Kyrie eleison: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava.

Magi: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

Manger: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO (The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)

Pew: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

Procession: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

Recessional: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

Relics: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel and stand.

Ten Commandments: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

Ushers: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.

Author Unknown



The Secret of Life

As the Lord God was creaing the world

He called upon his archangels.

The Lord asked his archangels to help

Him decide where to put the Secret of Life.

"Bury it in the ground," one ange replied.

"Put it on the bottom of the sea," said another.

"Hide it in the mountains," another suggested.

The Lord replied, "If I see to do any of those

only a few will find the Secret of Life.

The Secret of Life must be accessible to

everyone!"

One angel replied, "I know, put it in each man's heart.

Nobody will think to look there."

"Yes!" said the Lord.  "Within each man's heart."

And so it was --

the secret of life lies within all of us.

Author Unknown

Discovered in A 3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Jesus Saves...

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer.  They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "That's it!  I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."  So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed.

They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets!

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.

Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.  Satan started searching frantically, screaming:  "It's gone! It's all gone!  I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.

"Wait!"  he screamed.  "That's not fair!  He cheated!  How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

God's Cake

 

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

 

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake"

 

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers. "Yuck" says her daughter.

 

"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"

 

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!"

 

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

 

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

Pecans in the Cemetery

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."  He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.  "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard, Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."  When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.  Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth.  Let's see if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord. At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all.  Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full five minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.

Creation of man by science...

We're not sure who the author of this is, but someone shared it with us.  We hope it brings you a laugh just as it did us.

God is sitting in Heaven when a scientist says to Him, "Lord, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing. In other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning!"

"Oh, is that so? Tell me..." replies God.

"Well, " says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of You and breathe life into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's interesting.  Show Me. "

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil.

"Oh no, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."